I wanted to share how moved I am by the work I saw this month made by our Resident Artists. I am very fortunate to have seen these works grow over an extended period of time and engage with these artists about their work and their days. It’s a different kind of experience to sit in an audience and take tremendous pleasure in what they have made.

Jennie MaryTai Liu wove a world, a language, senses you could smell and stayed with you in LANDS AND PEOPLES.

Victoria Libertore wrote and performed a masterful — smart, funny, provocative,  investigation of Countess Elizabeth Bathory in GIRL MEAT, the second work she has made in her  residency.

Abigail Browde wrote, directed and performed in THANGKS FOR NOTHIN  — I thank her for producing a work of such satisfying quality and I cannot wait to see how this successful production influences her future work.

luciana achugar created PURO DESEO — I was spellbound experiencing a production that was unlike any I had seen before.

Thanks to these four extraordinary women for this season and their unique contributions.

A rare moment when I don’t know what to say.  I’m excited.  I’m nervous.  I’m working on the business of show business.  Figuring out some last numbers as far as expenses so that I can pay everyone this weekend.  I have to say, for having not much experience in balancing a budget and even having a budget to put up a show, I feel like I’ve handled the donations very well, paid people fairly and made good use of the money.  However, it makes me sad as I’ll be within a few hundred dollars of spending it all on this show.  It’s an investment and there are pieces I can keep for the next round.  But, the idea of fundraising for another go is a little daunting right now.  Maybe I won’t think about that, and just focus on putting up the show tonight.  First things first as they say.

I think I have also mentioned this following concept in the blog back in January.  But, I’ll say it again.  I just remembered the servant archetype.  I do a lot of archetypal work in preparation for my performance and while I’m performing.  It’s a technique I’ve been developing, and I pass on to my students.  While toasting my gluten-free, egg-free waffle, I just remembered the servant archetype.  The servant in the best sense:  giving.  Instead of thinking today/tonight with the opening of the show, “Look at me.  Think I’m great.  Approve of me,” I simply think (as the servant), “I have a little gift to give you.”

This helps open up my heart and put everything in perspective.  But, of course, the audience is also giving me a gift by giving me their time and energy.  Well, back to balancing the books, some lunch with my wonderful friends Duck, Andrew and Heidi (who came into town from Chicago for the show), running lines, a light rehearsal, transformation into The Countess and then the show.  GO team!

SO excited and SO tired.  Will write in the morning!

PHOTO CREDIT: ANGELA JIMENEZ

Welllllllllllllll, back on top.  Had a little breakthrough in rehearsal today.  A good cry.  The Countess was so sad.  I really have no idea what’s going to happen when the show goes up.  I know how I could ‘play’ The Countess and be convincing and it could be a good show.  But, I don’t want to just ‘play’ her.  I hope to keep making discoveries and see what happens in the moment in front of an audience.  As Rosalie said to me today, ideally, I would have a three-week preview and get to figure out how it all comes together with an audience.  However, I open on Friday, run on Saturday and close on Sunday.  So, I’m just diving in the deep end.  Our tech went well.  Justin, Kayla, Jono and Jeff were all in at some point with Rosalie and I.  So lovely to bring all the people and elements together.  I’m finding some really fun aspects with all the weapons.  We are sold out on Friday and Saturday.  Still seats for Sunday last I heard . . .

Well, a whirlwind of emotions.  Feels so good to be memorized!  Not a minute too soon.  Played with hair and makeup today.  It feels a little frivolous to do so.  But, The Countess is so concerned with her appearance that it’s not something I can take lightly.  Placed all the set pieces today and wore the costume.  It looks wonderful.  But, it was a lot to take in as I moved through the space.  Glad we have a seven hour rehearsal tomorrow and Thursday for me to really work with these elements.  Plus six hours on Friday.  What a luxury to just be able to work on the show these four days!?  Oh, and I brought in the feather element that I’ve always envisioned from the beginning.  I can come up with reasons of what they represent.  But, it’s really a visceral vision that I’ve had from the moment I conceived this show.  However, it hit me that some people might be allergic to feathers!  I thought of this for down feathers.  But, not turkey feathers, which is what I have.  But, the feathers look wonderful!  However, Jeff, our costume designer, got watery eyes tonight . . . alas.  I’ll put them out tomorrow and see how we all do.  You know that feeling of a lump in your throat?  I feel like I have a lump in my heart.  It feels very hard or closed off.  I think it’s repeating these horrible methods of torture and her horrific sadism over and over that’s got me a little numb.  Rosalie suggested that we have a “fun-through” tomorrow where I just let myself go over the top and be ridiculous with her.  I’m making such an effort to not let Vic (me) be The Countess that I might be going too far the other direction.  Of course, as Jen-Scott, my dramaturg said tonight that the applause is just for having the lines memorized.  Especially since I was changing the script up through this morning.  I love editing!  Such a sense of satisfaction.  The illusion of control.