Well, a whirlwind of emotions. Feels so good to be memorized! Not a minute too soon. Played with hair and makeup today. It feels a little frivolous to do so. But, The Countess is so concerned with her appearance that it’s not something I can take lightly. Placed all the set pieces today and wore the costume. It looks wonderful. But, it was a lot to take in as I moved through the space. Glad we have a seven hour rehearsal tomorrow and Thursday for me to really work with these elements. Plus six hours on Friday. What a luxury to just be able to work on the show these four days!? Oh, and I brought in the feather element that I’ve always envisioned from the beginning. I can come up with reasons of what they represent. But, it’s really a visceral vision that I’ve had from the moment I conceived this show. However, it hit me that some people might be allergic to feathers! I thought of this for down feathers. But, not turkey feathers, which is what I have. But, the feathers look wonderful! However, Jeff, our costume designer, got watery eyes tonight . . . alas. I’ll put them out tomorrow and see how we all do. You know that feeling of a lump in your throat? I feel like I have a lump in my heart. It feels very hard or closed off. I think it’s repeating these horrible methods of torture and her horrific sadism over and over that’s got me a little numb. Rosalie suggested that we have a “fun-through” tomorrow where I just let myself go over the top and be ridiculous with her. I’m making such an effort to not let Vic (me) be The Countess that I might be going too far the other direction. Of course, as Jen-Scott, my dramaturg said tonight that the applause is just for having the lines memorized. Especially since I was changing the script up through this morning. I love editing! Such a sense of satisfaction. The illusion of control.
